if i were there, i'd probably stab him in the hand with a fancy ballpoint pen, and then i'd find out it's really a dude, and then i'd get an assault charge or some shit.
my cat is nearing her cat birth gestation period, so i should have some kittens in the house soon. that's gonna be weird and messy. yuck.
i had another "spring bird" in the house today. every spring, birds somehow find their way into the house and fly around and scare the shit out of me when i get home from work. if i find them, i yell, "SHOO, SHOOOO" towards the nearest open door and usually they fly out eventually. birds that are too close are scary!
the second to last time i found a bird in the house we got hit by a tornado, and i'd heard somewhere (old wive's tale) that it is bad luck to have a bird in your house. needless to say, we lost some shit but not our entire house in 2011.
i have t-minus one week left of work. i actually wish it was less because i'm so damned tired.
btw, scott mcclanahan's crapalachia was awesome. even though some (or more than some?) of it was fiction, it reminded me a lot of being that age and living in haysi, va., when i lived with my dad. i guess the virginia/west virginia lifestyle isn't really all that different, even though opinions vary. (i guess it might also count that i didn't live that far away from wva and ky... maybe it's the same for some folks in kentucky, too.)
i'm trying to start 1Q84 but i've been too busy. i guess it's supposed to be a good book, we shall see.
maybe i'll just say fuck it and dig "do androids dream of electric sheep" out of the basement. i was thinking today about how if i ever dressed up for halloween again (which i haven't done in over 10 years) i'd be rachael from blade runner.
here's some humorous excerpts from gchat with "someone":
me: well, hello.
K**y: I was about to say the same! Good morning
me: i wish i were dead.
K**y: why
me: or just in a coma
K**y: thats no good
8:19 AM me: so i could sleep for a LONG time
K**y: just because you're tired?
me: i think being in a coma wouldn't be too bad.
K**y: I wouldnt mind it
me: yes, lol
so that's today's story. you should go to your local library and find a scratch-n-sniff book that i got at a "friends of the library" book sale as a child that was ALL scratch-n-sniff shit. even had the smell of cut grass and the smell of smoke, which was awesome. i remember the color of the book's cover being blue, if that helps.by the way, donnie was my favorite NKOTB, which explains why i said what i did earlier.goodnite.
me: yes indeedy
9:55 AM i woke up this morning and cracked a seltzer
K**y: mmmm seltzer
me: sat on the couch and looked out of the hole in my blinds at the snow
K**y: Ever seen the new girl?
not sure if you'd like it
me: and the first thought that came to my mind was, gee whizzo.
no
K**y: gee whizzo
haha
9:56 AM me: yeah, it took me a minute to remember who used to say that
(it was my friend r***e in ct)
and i laughed
K**y: oh...yes, I bought the new New NKOTB cd...
Line...
from donnie
me: ok
K**y: Chorus
Girl I really miss you
9:57 AM Wish that I could kiss you
but he had mad issues
me: (i wonder if he's talking about me..???)
K**y: they kept poppin up like tissues
me: WTF
hahahaha
K**y: I know, right.
they're like 45
9:58 AM me: that's a sick rhyme
k**y: I know...fo shizzle
me: maybe if i get drunk enough tonight i might youtube it.
K**y: you miss ct dont ya?
me: i do.
9:59 AM K**y: They just passed some serious gun laws didnt they?
me: yeah
i haven't read about them yet
K**y: I just got my new concealed permit:)
me either
me: awesome
it was already hard enough to buy a gun in ct
now i'm sure they've made it twice as hard
10:00 AM *** had just gotten his pistol permit (yes, you need a permit to buy a handgun there) right before we moved
and it costs like.. $250, plus they do a full background check on you
10:02 AM gee whizzo
10:03 AM K**y: LMAO
me: brb
K**y: I'm going to use that
10:07 AM me: back!
10:08 AM when i think of gee whizzo, i think of it as a person. named "g. whizzo," who's an old italian man who wears a monacle and carries a cane, even though he doesn't need it to walk
and wears a vest with a pocket watch on a chain
K**y: LMAO...YES
10:09 AM
and then i told her about gee whizzo as a person and she couldn't see it.
me: i told r***e once that "gee whizzo" is not a real phrase and it's something she made up and that she should stop saying it so much
so that's today's story. you should go to your local library and find a scratch-n-sniff book that i got at a "friends of the library" book sale as a child that was ALL scratch-n-sniff shit. even had the smell of cut grass and the smell of smoke, which was awesome. i remember the color of the book's cover being blue, if that helps.by the way, donnie was my favorite NKOTB, which explains why i said what i did earlier.goodnite.
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